People spend a significant share of their life seeking others’ approval. It slowly bites them from the inside, and before they even realize it, they’re in a bog of expectations that continues to get deeper.
How can you stop giving a damn? Let’s find out.
The Problem with Most People
I want to be a photographer, but my neighbor’s son is a successful doctor. What will people say if you become a photographer? That she was dumb? She couldn’t study so she became a photographer.
I like this picture of myself a lot. But I don’t want to share it on social media, as I’m looking a bit obese in it. My followers won’t like it.
You’ll find a million scenarios like this when people made a decision based on what others would think.
Now, you might think as to what’s wrong with getting people to like you. Well, there’s nothing wrong, as long as it doesn’t influence your life decisions. But, people spend a significant share of their lives trying to get other people’s approval and doing things that they would appreciate. Hence, you leave no room for doing what you want to do.
Why Seeking Others Approval Is Killing You from the Inside?
For your better understanding, let’s divide this phenomenon of getting others’ approval into three stages.
The first stage is fascination, where you see people who’re loved and respected by people. Celebrities are common examples. They gain a massive following on social media and share stuff their followers want to see. But without even realizing it, they throw themselves into a trap where they lose their decision-making power. They’ll have to do what their followers like, or they’ll receive a backlash.
Let’s take a small-scale example. You’ve started a new job, and your colleagues only want to be friends with people who look rich and elite. You try to fit in by making yourself look like someone you aren’t. Now, every decision you make has to be in accord with what your friend circle approves of. The moment you go against them, you’ll be kicked out of the group.
All in all, you can’t make your life decisions, and it’ll kill you from the inside.
How to Stop Giving a Damn?
Now, how to stop giving a damn about what others think? Well, it’s as simple as it can get.
Because it’s your life!
You are the sole protagonist in your life, and whatever you do should add meaning to it. If you feel being a musician will add more joy and meaning to your life than being an engineer, become a musician.
Secondly, the high of approval doesn’t last. Soon, people will come up with new expectations, and you’ll be stuck in a trap of matching them. And there won’t be a way out.
Some other actionable tips to follow are:
- Build a lifestyle you can be proud of.
- Develop the right habits.
- Set goals you care about.
- Catch yourself when you find seeking approval, and ensure it doesn’t happen again.
In conclusion, understand that it’s useless to think of what others think. By nature, humans are programmed to judge and form opinions. It’s essential to steer clear of these expectations and do what you feel is necessary.